Summer Sizzler: Pants Optional

July 27th, 2010 by Kate

Paul’s pretty swamped at work this week, so I’m taking over recapping duties. It makes me feel like I’m finally putting that Creative Writing degree to good use! Anyway, the appropriately-named Sizzler did not disappoint, and was chock-full of surprises, on and off the course.

Six weeks after the last CBE event, Paul and I were anxious to get into town and see everyone again. Paul took a red-eye back from Portland, OR, where he’d been attending some sort of computer-geek conference all week, and we made it up to LaVale in the early evening. Our usual hotel had inexplicably raised its rates for the weekend, so on the advice of the Morans, we booked a room at the colorful and kitschy Slumberland Inn. We had no idea what we were in for… But you all know the tale of “LareBear and the Cub” by now, so we’ll move on.

Saturday morning dawned hot and steamy, and it was easy to believe we’d hit the predicted triple-digit temperatures. The Team Zip-Tie crew gathered in the paddock, with a couple of notable exceptions. Patrick made it up from North Carolina for what would have been his first event of the year, but his 2010 debut was derailed by an incident with a spare tire. So unfortunately, both Geraghtys were forced to scratch in order to repair the E30 in time for Patrick’s return trip home.

CACC’s resident scribe Ben was also missing this weekend, so sadly, we can’t rely on his course descriptions. Saturday’s course wasn’t heavy on the technical elements, aside from an evilly tight S-turn at the start of the course. But the talk of the course walk was the decreased number of cones lining our way. This exciting development allowed drivers more options in choosing a line.

The weekend saw Mustang Boy whoring around (don’t tell his new girlfriend!) in other people’s cars. First up was Larry Casey’s Cobra. Halfway through his first run in the first heat, mechanical problems forced Mustang Boy and Larry to run off to Doug’s garage, where they were luckily able to get the car back together in time for Larry’s scheduled appearance in the third heat. Feeling charitable after his XP class win, Larry gave Mustang Boy another crack at the car in the fourth heat, where young Joseph did his best to give Larry a heart attack, doing a bit of off-roading, landing right in front of the car’s owner. Also in on the car-swapping this weekend was Rich, who on Saturday borrowed Steve Hotchkiss’s STS Miata, and wound up 31st in PAX.

Rob continued his reign of terror, finishing Saturday 8th in PAX, and by the end of the weekend would take over the top spot in the race for the Team Zip-Tie Cup. Mustang Boy and Paul rounded out the top 20 with finishes at 14 and 20, respectively. Thomas and I were unable to close the gap between us and Paul in FSP, and my penchant for cone-smashing prevented me from catching Thomas.

After the picnic (where the smartest among us took refuge in Doc’s air-conditioned garage), Paul and I retreated to Henny’s, where we did our best to sabotage Rob with alcohol poisoning. Larry and Paul took over drink-ordering duties for Rob, and even our waitress Autumn got in on the act, ordering him an “Irish Trash Can.” We were also joined by Andy Thomas, there to ruin everyone’s FSP chances. After a late-night Denny’s run, Paul and I retired to the Slumberland, with our new roommate Andy in tow. And yes, the evening was little person free.

Sunday started off just as hot, but with the added bonus of the threat of storms. The CBE powers that be wisely condensed the day into three heats, in order to speed things along before the rain came. Despite our best efforts, Rob showed up—though he must have still been drunk, because he let Mustang Boy have the keys to the RX8. Rich was back in his own car, but returned the favor and offered Steve Hotchkiss a co-drive. Doug was a two-day (albeit uncontested) class winner in DSP, and even with a hangover, Rob managed to edge out Mustang Boy for the C-Stock win. Andy and Paul battled it out for FSP dominance, while Thomas and I fought for FSP mediocrity. When the dust had settled, Andy took the class win by a mere 0.2, and Thomas edged me out by 0.3. Bad day for the Przy-Whiney ti.

As it turned out, we finished the day in the nick of time, with dark skies gathering during the last couple runs of the day, and Paul and I changed tires and got the hell out of dodge just as the first drops were falling. Despite the insane heat, it was a great weekend, and thankfully, this time we only have to wait three weeks until the next autocross!

P.S. On another exciting note, Team Zip-Tie will be representing this year at SCCA Nationals! Rob and Andy will be taking a road trip out to Lincoln this September and co-driving the RX8 in C-Stock. Our newest pledges will be testing their skills against the best drivers in the country!

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Summer Sizzler

July 26th, 2010 by Gimp

Saturday (72 Entrants)
10 – Rob (8th in PAX)
9 – Mustang Boy (14th in PAX)
8 – Gimp (20th in PAX)
7 – Doug (28th in PAX)
6  + 2 – Rich (31st in PAX – Cone Award Winner with 5 cones)
5 – Thomas (33rd in PAX)
4 – Kate (47th in PAX)

Sunday (58 Entrants)
10 – Rob (12th in PAX)
9 – Andy (21st in PAX)
8 – Gimp (22nd in PAX)
7 – Mustang Boy (25th in PAX)
6 – Doug (27th in PAX)
5 – Thomas (33rd in PAX)
4 + 2 – Kate (36th in PAX – Cone Award Winner with 4 cones)
3 – Rich (46th in PAX)

Current Team Standings
1. Rob (53 points)
2. Gimp (50 points)
3. Mustang Boy (47 points)
4. Doug (46 points)
5. Kate (33 points)
6. Thomas (32 points)
7. Rich (25 points)
8. Andy (22 points)
9. Bill (10 points)
10. Patrick (0 points)

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Get your Team Zip-Tie Shwag!!!

June 30th, 2010 by Team Zip-Tie Staff

New cafepress shop opened up.  All proceeds go to support the website and my drinking habit!

http://www.cafepress.com/teamziptie

Short and long sleeved shirts, sweatshirts, tank tops, hats, teddy bears (really), pet clothing (Sally YES), license plate frames, clocks, mugs, intimate apparel* and other crap in a variety of styles and colors.

*Intimate apparel doesn’t increase your chances of being intimate.

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Rob Attends Evo, Takes Us All to School (Cumberland Historics Weekend)

June 7th, 2010 by Gimp

What the $%@#. Seriously. I originally suggested that we recruit some people to take down Mustang Boy, but I meant in the Nancy Kerrigan way. Rob “Vicks 44″ Robeson comes on board, goes to an Evo school, and then proceeds to clean our clocks. I’m sure his response to the whole thing will be a simple “meh.” I hate him so much.

Saturday was the now infamous “Long Course” out at CBE, and it truly lived up to all expectations. Weather threatened, but wound up being kind to us… that was not to last. In anticipation of the increased distance and speed, I begged and pleaded for the Morans to allow me use of the SUXASS, and they kindly obliged. So I would hit the course that day, in the “Thunderous Third”, an XP poser. I attempted to drive my ass off, but I guess I had too much ass, as I found myself tenth out of fifteen in XP (coming in with a 71.979), more than four seconds off of Mike’s XP winning run. Kate and Thomas answered the FSP call, with Thomas taking first with a 78.736, just edging out Kate’s 79.650 (good enough for second– out of two). Mustang Boy again took ESP with a 73.327. Doug, all alone in DSP, finished up with a 74.132. Rich flexed his new Kumho muscles and ran a 79.139, taking sixth in BSP. Am I forgetting anything? Oh yeah, Rob. 73.319. Yeah, in a car with no pistons. Second place was over six seconds back. If that wasn’t good enough, he managed to also hit a collective total of eight cones, winning the Cone Award for Saturday. I think I know what the ‘C’ in C-Stock stands for now.

From the CACC: Fast Times There Are Not Forgotten — 2010 Historics Cumberland Autocross – Saturday Report

INSERT DRINKING HERE (Autumn likes Jäger)

Sunday was our more familiar course, and we were joined by Andy Thomas, who brought some craptastic weather with him (Thomas and Mustang boy suffering the worst of the conditions). Andy, in the 318ti, ran the first heat and posted a blazing fast, and untouchable, 52.343. FSP was much better stocked this time around. Guest driver, Jen Moran (also in the 318ti) took second with a stupid quick 53.995. Just behind her in third was Sunday’s Cone Award winner, Kate (in the ti), with a 55.392. Thomas, stupidly choosing to run his own car, ran a 56.908 — good enough for fourth. Not to be left out, Michael “Baby” Bane (in the… you guessed it… 318ti) also ran the wet second heat, but secured fifth with a 62.208. Last, but not least in FSP, was the simply awesome 1974 Mini Cooper of Don Vasbinder. For those keeping score at home, that’s the 318ti in all three podium spots – I guess that’s what happens with the car is driven by four of the six competitors. In other news, Mustang Boy fell to second in ESP with a 55.454. Doug continued his one-man DSP show and ran a 53.262. Rich moved up to fourth in BSP with a 54.881. I was back in the Mor-animal for more XP fun, but only managed seventh out of eleven spots. Concerning my runs: Mike, Jen and Jake – sorry about that unplanned downshift. Linda Redding – sorry about your new heart condition.

What I’m about to say deserves its own paragraph. Rob Robeson, in his RX8 – a pistonless freak of automotive nature (to be fair, the same could be said for Rob himself) – ran a 50.787. Let me put that in perspective. Not only did he win his class, he was a) second in PAX, b), 12th fastest car at the race, and c) the fastest stock class car, period. I don’t think anything I write here could do him justice. My jaw is on the floor, and my pants are slightly tighter.

Sloppy Seconds – 2010 Cumberland Historics Autocross Sunday Report

Team Zip-Tie Cup Standings

Needless to say, things got really interesting. Top competitors for the TZT Cup are within a ****’* hair of each other.

Just remember, if you are the winner of the “Cone Award” for the day, you will get two bonus points, as long as you are not highest paxing on the day.

Saturday (85 Entrants)
10 – Rob (12th in PAX & Cone Award winner with 8 cones)
9 – Mustang Boy (19th in PAX)
8 – Doug (21st in PAX)
7 – Gimp (29th in PAX)
6 – Thomas (44th in PAX)
5 – Kate (52nd in PAX)
4 – Rich (60th in PAX)

Sunday (78 Entrants)
10 – Rob (2nd in PAX)
9 – Andy (11th in PAX)
8 – Doug (20th in PAX)
7 – Gimp (26th in PAX)
6 + 2 – Kate (32nd in PAX – Cone Award winner with 4 cones)
5 – Mustang Boy (38th in PAX)
4 – Rich (40th in PAX)
3 – Thomas (43rd in PAX)

Current Team Standings
1. Gimp (34 points)
2. Doug and Rob (tied at 33 points)
3. Mustang Boy (31 points)
4. Kate (23 points)
5. Thomas (22 points)
6. Rich (14 points)
7. Andy (13 points)
8. Bill (10 points)
9. Patrick (0 points)

Rich took a ton of great pictures, available here.

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Ice Broken, Lady Boner Born

May 17th, 2010 by Gimp

The Cumberland Season opener is in the books, and you couldn’t have asked for a better weekend of racing.  Team Zip-Tie was out in record numbers, and really showed the field at CBE what we are made of.  Like college students back from a long summer break, hugs and words were exchanged, drinks were consumed, nicknames were given, and cars were raced (okay, maybe college students don’t do that last part).

Saturday gave us excellent weather and racing conditions, and no one showed signs of rust (other than what was on the car) as they took to the tarmac.  Thomas ended his sabbatical and joined me and Kate in FSP.  Casting off the bent GTI, he piloted his 1996 Golf to a time of 58.964, just 3.255 seconds off your handsome leader and narrator (55.709).  Kate, still getting used to the myriad of changes and the addictive grip of R-compounds fought off armies of cones to finally nail down a time of 64.017.  Staying in SP, Mustang Boy reminded Cumberland who runs Bartertown ESP and walked away with the win posting a time of 55.536 while Doug Macy sent the British back across the pond with a 55.567, taking the win over Steve Wade and his Mini.  Absent from BSP was Rich, who had some “tire issues” that allowed him to run the new STR class, setting the Icebreaker STR record with a time of 62.041.  In C-stock action, Rob and Bill duked it out with Rob’s 56.357 securing first, and Bill’s 59.874 bringing home second place for TZT.

The highly coveted Cone Award no longer seemed like a lock for Kate, with Thomas’s triumphant return, but the world was shocked when he posted no cones at the end of the day.  Doug and Rob tried their hardest and both posted six cones on the day, but they where no match for last year’s champion.  When the dust settled, Kate took out seven orange pointy things.

From the CACC: Wade, Naturally: 2010 Icebreaker Cumberland Airport Autocross – Saturday Report

On Sunday, during the driver’s meeting, Dave Williams took a moment to recognize all those who help promote Cumberland autocross on the web.  He first asked Jen Moran to step forward, and then asked Kate to be recognize, but this time, instead of calling her by her Christian name, he referred to her by a local internet meme she unknowingly brought upon herself, “Ms. Lady Boner”.  This day was to be a good one.

Sunday’s course was a slight variation of Saturday, with the traditional “opening” of elements to allow a little more speed.  The dynamic trio met again on the battle field with much the same result as the day before.  I won FSP with a time of 53.861, with Thomas (56.806) and Kate (59.690) completing the rest of the podium.  Mustang Boy faced off with 2009 DC FSP Champion and TZT newb, Andy Thomas, who ran a borrowed Subaru in ESP.  Despite the champ’s best efforts, his 58.211 was only good enough for third, while our ginger kid got his second win of the year with a 54.728.  Doug scared off Steve Wade, but was still forced to face off against Larry Zajdel’s TT.  While no one likes Audi on Audi crime, Doug showed no mercy and took DSP with a time of 55.259.  Rich was given company in STR, and bit of a thrashing from the very well set up BMW Z4 of Noel Leslie.  While Rich managed a quick time (59.833), rumor has it a new set of v710s may already be on their way to Cumberland.  Rob was incorrectly placed in B-stock, so for the sake of discussion we’ll pretend he was in C-stock with Bill (since Alan Pozer and his co-driver were not).  Rob’s time of 56.698 would have been good enough for the win in C-stock and would have made Bill’s very quick time of 57.271 only good enough for second place.

Day two of the Cone Award saw Thomas in more familiar form, posting a total of eight cones.  Kate, showing Thomas what happens when you take time off quickly knocked him down to size with her final total of ten cones.  Lick it up baby… lick it up.

From the CACC: Breaker Morans — 2010 Icebreaker Cumberland Autocross — Sunday Report

A fantastic time was had by all, and it was really good to be back.  Team Zip-Tie is 10 people strong, now making up more than 10% of the CBE field.  Today, Cumberland… Tomorrow, somewhere outside of Cumberland.

Patrick, you don’t know what you missed… well, you probably do, but it’s a shame you did.  Don’t forget, Historics weekend is my birthday weekend.

Team Zip-Tie Cup Standings

Following the rules posted earlier, here are the point standings for the weekend. As a refresher, we are now using a 10pt scale (10 points for first, 9 for second, etc).  If you are the winner of the “Cone Award” for the day, you will get two bonus points, as long as you are not highest paxing on the day.

Saturday (82 Entrants)
10 – Gimp (16th in PAX)
9 – Doug (22nd in PAX)
8 – Mustang Boy (23rd in PAX)
7 – Rob (24th in PAX)
6 – Thomas (41st in PAX)
5 – Bill (50th in PAX)
4 – Rich (59th in PAX)
3 + 2 – Kate (63rd in PAX – Cone Award winner with 7 cones)

Sunday (83 Entrants)
10 – Gimp (16th in PAX)
9 – Mustang Boy (26th in PAX)
8 – Doug (29th in PAX)
7 – Thomas (35th in PAX)
6 – Rob (36th in PAX – Correct his class and made the appropriate adjustment)
5 – Bill (44th in PAX)
4 – Andy (53rd in PAX)
3 + 2 – Kate (58th in PAX – Cone Award winner with 10 cones)
2 – Rich (60th in PAX)

Current Team Standings
1. Gimp (20 points)
2. Doug and Mustang Boy (tied at 17 points)
3. Thomas and Rob (tied at 13 points)
4. Kate and Bill (tied at 10 points)
5.  Rich (6 points)
6. Andy (4 points)
7. Patrick (0 points)

Rich’s Photos – View all


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New toys…

May 17th, 2010 by Gimp

4 feet of wheel.

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3 Days and Counting – 2010 Rules

May 12th, 2010 by Gimp

This is the same system we ran as last year with one slight alteration, but as we have some newbs and some old, forgetful folks, I’ll rehash.

We run a 10 point system.
First in PAX will get 10 points, second will get 9, third gets 8, so on and so forth.

We will be dropping your four lowest scoring days.
You can’t make it to an event, it won’t count against you. If it rains and you weren’t on the right tires, it won’t count against you.

All events will count.
Last year we didn’t count the last day, but why not throw in another event for those who have spotty schedules?

We will be rewarding poor performance.
If you are the person with the most cones on the day, and you didn’t rank in our first place (on the day) position, you will earn 2 bonus points. That’s right… Drive like shit and cone a lot, and you might only get 5 points. But if you get more cones than anyone else, you get 7. Go ahead, take out that wall of cones… we’ll let the corner workers know what you’re doing.

Results will be posted here: TZT 2010 Standings

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Autocrossing on the Strip

May 11th, 2010 by Rich

I got a nineteen eighty Datsun with a two point eight
A fulie head and a tear in the floor
She’s waiting tonight in Frostburg
Just off the National Highway store
Me and my partner Billy welded her straight out of rust
And he autocrosses from time to time
We only run for the Lion’s booth got no diet now
We order up and then we woof them down

Tonight, tonight the strip’s just right
I wanna cone ‘em off in my first heat
Summer’s here and the time is right
For autocrossing on the strip

We take all the course walks we can meet
And we cover all the busy turns
When the strip shuts down we run out to Doc’s
Out past Twigg’s near the interstate
Some guys they just give up fixin’
And start rusting little by little, piece by piece
Some guys come home from work and wash up
And go autcrossin’ on the strip

Tonight, tonight the strip’s just right
I wanna thrill ‘em on Cabana Row
Calling out across the Four State, we’re going autocrossin’ on the strip

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The Thrilla in, um, Landover?

April 23rd, 2010 by Gimp

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The shoe(s) fit…

April 12th, 2010 by Gimp

From the CDC event the other weekend… grip is good.

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