This is why you should NEVER volunteer for anything. I offer to write one recap, and now I’m stuck with the job for life. Let this be a lesson to you all—never help anyone. Ever. The good news is, Ben was back this time around, so if I find myself with a nasty case of writer’s block, I can always just plagiarize his reports. It’s not like anyone reads those anyway, right?
This past weekend, the usual suspects found themselves gathering in Cumberland for the final days of Speed Week. After last weekend’s Hill Climb/Demolition Derby, the annual ten-day long week (we’re good with cars, not so much with numbers) wraps up with The Devil’s Duel on Friday, followed by a two-day autocross weekend.
Paul and I headed up early Friday afternoon for the shootout. Every year, members of the Capital Area Cobra Club show up to take on different foes. The past few years, they’ve been competing against the Cumberland All-Stars, a group of various top 20 drivers and ringers from around the region. Team Zip-Tie was out in force, with Mustang Boy, Rich, Doug, Paul and I all in attendance. Of course, we were just there to work the course. Rookie Zip-Tier Rob was the only one among us picked to join the Cumberland All-Stars (Mustang Boy was not invited back—likely due to last year’s horrific avian carnage).
The good news is Rob put on a show, with a wicked spin in his first qualifying run. The bad news is, he didn’t make it past the qualifying round in the highly competitive field. The finals came down to Cobra driver Fred Kelley versus one-time protégé, Brian Karwan, with Karwan edging out his “grandpa” by mere hundredth of a second to become the new King of the Hill, and leading the All-Stars to yet another victory over Team Cobra.
After such a dramatic shootout, we naturally required some food and drink and time to unwind before it was our turn to take the course in the morning. We gathered with the usual Henny’s crowd to celebrate Mike Moran’s 30th birthday. I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we got far more than we bargained for when we were joined by Rob and Amy. Amy regaled us with work stories, which were more than enough to keep the group—most of whom were hopped up on Red Bull after drinking the potent concoction known as the Irish Trashcan— simultaneously entertained, shocked, and disturbed. Jen and Mike Moran also made the official announcement that they were going to be proud new parents—of their very own Cobra.
The next morning, we stumbled out of bed at the Braddock Inn and made our way to the airport under overcast skies. While a relief from the oppressive heat of the Summer Sizzler, the threat of rain hung in the air. Paul and I modeled our new Team Zip-Tie apparel for the masses (get yours today!) and at the Driver’s Meeting, Paul presented Larry “Lare Bear” Casey with a t-shirt to remind him of his adventures with his “little friend.”
The course was a new look for Cumberland, lacking its usual drag race stretches of long straights, instead marked by several slaloms and a kinder, gentler curving finish. Though in my little four-cylinder hatchback, I’m a bit biased, but Saturday’s was my favorite Cumberland course to date. It was great to see the playing field slightly leveled for us lower horsepower cars, and fewer cones to allow for more free will when it came to choosing a line.
With his usual ride in need of repair, Mustang Boy slummed it for the weekend in the BMW, giving me tire heat on an unseasonably cool August day, but more competition too. The whole day seemed to move at warp speed, the only hitches being the juggling worker chiefs Paul and Doug were forced to do each heat. I’d like to take a moment to thank everyone who helped out this weekend—the volunteers who didn’t race but ventured over to our side of the fence just to shag some cones, and the many drivers who pulled double shifts just to keep the event going. Please know your efforts did not go unnoticed, and we all appreciate the hell out of you. And those of you who skipped out on your mandatory worker assignment… we noticed that too.
The dynamic rookie duo of Rob and Andy co-drove the RX8 in C-Stock, in preparation for their upcoming road trip to Lincoln, NE for Nationals next month. Rob barely edged out his co-driver, and they took spots eight and ten in PAX, respectively. Rich was fourth in BSP with a 49.749, and Doug beat out Mini driver Steve Wade for the DSP class win. However, FSP was the place to be for Zip-Tie members, as Thomas, Mustang Boy, Paul and I made up that class’s field of four. Though it took him all six runs, Paul finally (and barely) beat out the ginger interloper and eventually took the class win. Of the BMW’s three drivers, I came in last, but I managed to beat Thomas (the Cone Award winner with six on the day), a feat I had not previously accomplished, so I was pleased with my day.
But of course, the real story of the day was Mike Moran. Maybe it was the Irish Trashcan and all the shots, maybe it was the disappointment of not making it to the Shootout finals the night before, or maybe it was just the wisdom that comes from entering a new decade, but the newly-30 Mike Moran was on a tear on Saturday, and Cumberland’s Bridesmaid was ready to take his place on the wall at the Runway Café.
One of my favorite parts of Cumberland racing—dating back to when I was a spectator and not a driver myself—has always been the fantastic group of people out there. And the way everyone came together to pull for Mike was a shining example of the attitude that makes Cumberland such a special place to autocross. Because I was gridded directly behind Mike, I was always on course at the end of his runs. But coming around the showcase turn during my sixth and final run, even over the sound of the BMW banging off the limiter and through the muffling cushion my helmet, I could hear Team Zip-Tie’s own Mustang Boy making the call. Mike Moran had finally become a bride—FTD was his.
It was a dramatic finish to another great, albeit speedy, day of racing. We were done before 2:00 pm, and with three hours before the picnic at Doc Mike’s, drivers loitered in the paddock, unsure what to do with ourselves.
But eventually, enough time was killed and we reconvened out at Doc Mike’s for beer, hot dogs, and sweet corn. Talk mainly centered around Mike’s FTD, but we managed to sneak in some less driving-centric talk as well, and a very inappropriate picture was taken with Ben’s camera when the Scribe foolishly left it unattended. After the previous night’s activities, we settled in at Henny’s patio for a far more low-key evening, and even with a trip to Denny’s, I was in bed by 11:00 pm.
Day two began with even grayer skies, and looming predictions of rain decreased an already shrinking turnout. Several regulars—including Rob and Andy—ditched Cumberland’s Sunday course for a DC SCCA event. The smaller field gave rise to rumors of a condensed three-heat day, but organizers insisted on sticking with the traditional four heat format. This led to some quick heats, including near hot-lapping conditions for the normally packed third heat.
The skies opened up a bit during the first heat, making for some slightly slippery conditions—as young Michael Bane’s trip into the grass at the stop box could attest to—but once the rain stopped, the sun finally made an appearance and the heat returned to dry up the tarmac by the end of the second heat.
Rich moved up a spot to third in BSP, and Doug flipped with his competitor, coming in second to Steve Wade. FSP had a non-TZT driver in it on Sunday, Bill Pritts in his BMW 2002, who came in third. Paul was again able to beat Mustang Boy, and didn’t wait until his final run to do it this time. He also pulled off an eleventh place finish in PAX, returning him to the head of the pack for the Team Zip-Tie Cup standings, but I’m sure Rob will fix that at the Harvest Moon. And for every step forward I take, I am compelled to take two back, as I was back to my usual back-marker place in class, losing to Thomas by a full two and a half seconds. I was also back to my usual spot as the Cone Award winner, with a few particularly messy runs giving me a total of five.
After the fourth heat concluded, there was nothing left to do but change tires, pack it up, and head for home. Next up is the Harvest Moon in just four weeks. In the meantime, Andy and Rob will take their act on the road at Nationals. We’ll all be waiting for dispatches from the front lines, so take some pictures and be ready to share some stories, rookies!
Saturday (69 Entrants)
10 – Rob (8th in PAX)
9 – Andy (10th in PAX)
8 – Gimp (25th in PAX)
7 – Mustang Boy (26th in PAX)
6 – Doug (31st in PAX)
5 – Kate (41st in PAX)
4 + 2 – Thomas (47th in PAX – Cone Award Winner with 6 cones)
3– Rich (48th in PAX)
Sunday (63 Entrants)
10 – Gimp (11th in PAX)
9 – Mustang Boy (16th in PAX)
8 – Doug (29th in PAX)
7 – Thomas (31st in PAX)
6 – Rich (37th in PAX)
5 + 2 – Kate (16th in PAX – Cone Award Winner with 5 cones)
Current Team Standings
1. Gimp (68 points)
2. Rob (63 points)
3. Mustang Boy (63 points)
4. Doug (60 points)
5. Kate (45 points)
6. Thomas (45 points)
7. Rich (34 points)
8. Andy (31 points)
9. Bill (10 points)
10. Patrick (0 points)
