What the $%@#. Seriously. I originally suggested that we recruit some people to take down Mustang Boy, but I meant in the Nancy Kerrigan way. Rob “Vicks 44″ Robeson comes on board, goes to an Evo school, and then proceeds to clean our clocks. I’m sure his response to the whole thing will be a simple “meh.” I hate him so much.
Saturday was the now infamous “Long Course” out at CBE, and it truly lived up to all expectations. Weather threatened, but wound up being kind to us… that was not to last. In anticipation of the increased distance and speed, I begged and pleaded for the Morans to allow me use of the SUXASS, and they kindly obliged. So I would hit the course that day, in the “Thunderous Third”, an XP poser. I attempted to drive my ass off, but I guess I had too much ass, as I found myself tenth out of fifteen in XP (coming in with a 71.979), more than four seconds off of Mike’s XP winning run. Kate and Thomas answered the FSP call, with Thomas taking first with a 78.736, just edging out Kate’s 79.650 (good enough for second– out of two). Mustang Boy again took ESP with a 73.327. Doug, all alone in DSP, finished up with a 74.132. Rich flexed his new Kumho muscles and ran a 79.139, taking sixth in BSP. Am I forgetting anything? Oh yeah, Rob. 73.319. Yeah, in a car with no pistons. Second place was over six seconds back. If that wasn’t good enough, he managed to also hit a collective total of eight cones, winning the Cone Award for Saturday. I think I know what the ‘C’ in C-Stock stands for now.
INSERT DRINKING HERE (Autumn likes Jäger)
Sunday was our more familiar course, and we were joined by Andy Thomas, who brought some craptastic weather with him (Thomas and Mustang boy suffering the worst of the conditions). Andy, in the 318ti, ran the first heat and posted a blazing fast, and untouchable, 52.343. FSP was much better stocked this time around. Guest driver, Jen Moran (also in the 318ti) took second with a stupid quick 53.995. Just behind her in third was Sunday’s Cone Award winner, Kate (in the ti), with a 55.392. Thomas, stupidly choosing to run his own car, ran a 56.908 — good enough for fourth. Not to be left out, Michael “Baby” Bane (in the… you guessed it… 318ti) also ran the wet second heat, but secured fifth with a 62.208. Last, but not least in FSP, was the simply awesome 1974 Mini Cooper of Don Vasbinder. For those keeping score at home, that’s the 318ti in all three podium spots – I guess that’s what happens with the car is driven by four of the six competitors. In other news, Mustang Boy fell to second in ESP with a 55.454. Doug continued his one-man DSP show and ran a 53.262. Rich moved up to fourth in BSP with a 54.881. I was back in the Mor-animal for more XP fun, but only managed seventh out of eleven spots. Concerning my runs: Mike, Jen and Jake – sorry about that unplanned downshift. Linda Redding – sorry about your new heart condition.
What I’m about to say deserves its own paragraph. Rob Robeson, in his RX8 – a pistonless freak of automotive nature (to be fair, the same could be said for Rob himself) – ran a 50.787. Let me put that in perspective. Not only did he win his class, he was a) second in PAX, b), 12th fastest car at the race, and c) the fastest stock class car, period. I don’t think anything I write here could do him justice. My jaw is on the floor, and my pants are slightly tighter.
Sloppy Seconds – 2010 Cumberland Historics Autocross Sunday Report
Team Zip-Tie Cup Standings
Needless to say, things got really interesting. Top competitors for the TZT Cup are within a ****’* hair of each other.
Just remember, if you are the winner of the “Cone Award” for the day, you will get two bonus points, as long as you are not highest paxing on the day.
Saturday (85 Entrants)
10 – Rob (12th in PAX & Cone Award winner with 8 cones)
9 – Mustang Boy (19th in PAX)
8 – Doug (21st in PAX)
7 – Gimp (29th in PAX)
6 – Thomas (44th in PAX)
5 – Kate (52nd in PAX)
4 – Rich (60th in PAX)
Sunday (78 Entrants)
10 – Rob (2nd in PAX)
9 – Andy (11th in PAX)
8 – Doug (20th in PAX)
7 – Gimp (26th in PAX)
6 + 2 – Kate (32nd in PAX – Cone Award winner with 4 cones)
5 – Mustang Boy (38th in PAX)
4 – Rich (40th in PAX)
3 – Thomas (43rd in PAX)
Current Team Standings
1. Gimp (34 points)
2. Doug and Rob (tied at 33 points)
3. Mustang Boy (31 points)
4. Kate (23 points)
5. Thomas (22 points)
6. Rich (14 points)
7. Andy (13 points)
8. Bill (10 points)
9. Patrick (0 points)
Rich took a ton of great pictures, available here.
Great weekend as usual. Sunday’s course much more to my liking. The ZX really likes point and shoot provided I’m off the brake before I crank the wheels to turn. Kudos to Rob. You sure that wasn’t EVIL school?
Hats off to Rob for schooling the whole TZT posse.
Thomas texted me a reminder this morning… he did try to kill Rob by spinning out into the grass. No such luck.
Clearly, we ALL need an Evo school. So I’m thinking we hold a TZT fundraiser to raise the cash. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:
1. Bake Sale
2. Car wash
3. Tasteful nude calendar
How about a tasty nude bake sale?
For anyone who’s interested, here’s an upcoming evo school that’s semi-local.
https://www.nasaproracing.com/event/1038
Look at that… he just calmly comes in and shows us all how we can try to compete with him… what a jerk.
I say we part out Joe’s Mustang in the nude at a bake sale.
Wait! WHAT!?!?!
Wait, who’s Rob and when was this autocross?
We originally considered him as your stunt double, but there was an issue with the lighting in the fade away shot. He’s now going to be operating the sawzall in the buff at the bake sale.
Doug roots around for his dog-eared copy of OSHA’s handy brochure “Safe Plasma Cutting in the Nude”
i do have a $25 coupon for an evo school. Now how much more nude plasma cutting would be required to earn the extra money? I have a shop that we could borrow for a weekend to try it out. I’ll be working anyway so i’d just have to convince the customers to pay me extra for a “special service” and that school would be mine in no time
for real though, I did try my best without any schooling and even if my 51.9 would have been clean i would have only ended up 7th on pax
rob is definately going down this sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY
I tried my hardest to bring him down. He is just too damn quick even without the car. I want to know where the real Rob is and how do we disable the robot that has replaced him?
And for nude sawzalling, I’ve seen what the sawzall did to my finger without the blade even being involved. I’ll keep those other areas well covered…
@ Rob – don’t you have a bunch of Saturday Weddings coming up so the “Home Schooled” crowd can keep up?
I just don’t know how to respond to all this… A glowing write-up, unsolicited compliments, an assassination attempt. I feel like the lion king!